Soapbox Lady

"It doesn't have a Title" Title

2010-12-19T09:21:00.000-08:00

So I've just started reading Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert. Too early into the book to recommend it either way, but I just had to comment on something she wrote.

In Chapter3 she describes the first time she prayed and when she met God. I have to say, I loved it! It so closely describes MY first time. The wretched sobbing, the pleas for help, and then the utter calmness and PEACE that came to her. THAT my friends is God. How can you be so full of despair one moment and calm and peaceful the next moment? How can you be so LOST and then see the path? That is not Man, THAT is GOD. And then God told her to "go to bed". And she describes His Voice. Not that "Hollywood" God voice. It's an internal voice, but not the same as when you talk to yourself in your head. And he just said "Go to bed". Yeah, it was kinda like that.

So yes, I believe in God. Because I've personally met Him. And it's changed my life. I hope someday, you get to meet him too (if you haven't already).

A Letter to a new Friend(?)

2010-06-25T18:53:00.000-07:00

Sorry for the question mark. But really, what do I call you? I don't know, my head hurts and I'm grumpy and I have the house to myself (for once) and I want to take advantage, but this letter has been stuck in my head for a couple of days. So let me start over...

Dear Young Sir,

That last couple of days, I have had the distinct pleasure of getting to know you. We first met Mother's Day Weekend, when you so formally stuck your hand out to deliver a proper handshake. But actually, I first learned about you the day before Easter, when my dearest Daughter, confessed she (gasp) liked a boy, who liked her back.

As I believe I told you, Daughter is a VERY private person. I've heard rumors before that she had crushes on other boys before, but never would divulge details. So I knew, this was a BIG deal. Not use to this Daughter liking someone enough to bring it to our attention.

But because she is an obediant Daughter, she asked permission first, to call you her boyfriend. And you waited for that permission.

Score 1 point for you. Good job.

Then we all met you at the carnival. While you were extremely polite and very pleasant, and I imagine very nervous, you held your head high.

But I must admit, you scored a lot of points the time you put the wig on, because Daughter asked you to. And you were willing to be publicly silly, because Daughter asked you too. You stayed HOURS after you were supposed to go home...because Daughter asked you to.

And you cherish her friendship and you "gave your heart to a very special girl..." and consider it THE greatest of the two things you know for sure.

For that reason, I hope the two of you to stay close and keep your friendship, no matter what the future holds.

Good luck on your journey. I am proud to know you are serving our country. Young men like you are an asset to our country.

Numbers 6:24
The Lord bless you and keep you;
The Lord make His face shine upon you.
And be gracious to you;
The Lord lift up His countenance upon you,
And give you peace.

Inside my head (such an interesting place)

2010-05-10T20:38:00.000-07:00

Have you ever thought, "If I had split personalities, who would they be?" I know, kinda weird, but I am such a multi-faceted person, that the only thing separating me from truly having this disorder is my full control and awareness of these other people. No seriously, don't you have other people inside your head?

So maybe I'm watching too much United States of Tara, but I started a list of them:

A sweet, innocent little girl. She's kinda shy and makes it hard to order food at a counter.
An 80-yr old granny. She's so wise and knows so much about the world. This is the woman I see myself becoming. Sometimes her body aches and so mine will too.
A grouchy, hermit guy.
Monk/scholar that has tons of history inside his head. He pretty much lives at a library. Probably at Oxford or something.
Spoiled little braty girl
Chola/ghetto girl (she was born when I became a freshman at Paramount High. Kinda hard not to develop this girl when you are surrounded by them) She comes out and plays with Rene (you haven't met her yet, just wait!!)
Valley Girl
Farm Girl
June Cleaver Domestic Goddess
A 16-yr old girl. This is the one that pops out when my girls play with clothes, hair or make-up and talk about boys. She gets all giggly sometimes. She's dating my husband that little fluzy.
A 15-yr old boy. He likes to show up when Billy brings home a new video game. He'll play videos games for 15-1/2 hours if no one tells him otherwise. He's also the one that will eat McDonalds or some other fast food every day if left to his own devices. He also LOVES Star Wars. He is definately a FanBoy, a computer geek, plays D&D and has a dorky laugh. When you think if a nerdy teenage boy, this is him. He also says "Dude" in every way possible. It's one of his favorite words. He believes you can use it in any context. (Example here)

And then...Rene. Yeah, this one has a NAME. She's become pretty dominant, but then again, that's her style. She was born around April 1998. I know this because I believe it was her that filed those divorce papers and no one else. But...she's baaaaddddd. I always image her sleeping in some leather get up instead of PJs. She has a shoe fetish (the higher the better), likes to wear tight jeans and is quite proud of her natural cleavage. If you ever see me "owing" it, that's actually Rene, out to play for the night.

She's such a little vixen.

She's definitely assertive and somewhat of a control freak. She doesn't care what people think of her and can be a bit of a bitch at times.

But she also doesn't have much sympathy or compassion. Yeah, kinda heartless. This is when I have to reign her in some, otherwise, no one would like me.

So who's inside your head? 'Fess up now...

The Other Blog for Another Time: A Fairy Tale Love Story

2010-04-05T20:45:00.000-07:00

Since I raved about my love of books AND I said I would tell more on how Billy & I met, I thought I'd deliver on my promise. But, I need to tell you in Fairy Tale mode, since, well, Billy is pretty much my Knight. So here goes. Enjoy.

Once upon a time, there was a girl named Mandy. Mandy was a fair lass (meaning she was fair-skinned, but I guess she's kinda pretty too). Mandy married what she thought was a minor Lord. See, he wasn't quite Prince Charming, but he was no evil villain either. The girl fell in love and married her Lord, became a Lady and had three beautiful little Ladies. But-a few years after getting married, the Lord and Lady separated and divorced and the Lady found herself all alone for the first time. But she was a brave girl and had good friends helping her through the rough times.

And then one day, Queen Joy, a friendly, good Queen, who was also Lady Mandy's best friend, decided the Lady shouldn't be alone. You see, Queen Joy had met a prince, who was nice and sweet and charming...and single. Hmmm...thought Queen Joy, this prince needs a princess.

So, being the queen that she is, Queen Joy ordered the Lady to go on a blind date with the prince. No, really, she ordered it, maybe even threatened death. I think the head was even involved.

"No, please!" she exclaimed. "I am happy alone, I have my little girls and we're content."

But Queen Joy set up the date and luckily Princess Jill, Prince Jeff and King Wes all came along so the Lady didn't have to go alone.

And then-Queen Joy turned into a fairy godmother and worked her magic and turned the simple Lady into a beautiful Princess for the night. But don't worry, instead of a pumpkin, they drove the horse-less carriage; that way they wouldn't lose their ride.

While the Queen Joy Fairy Godmother worked the final magic touches on the Lady, the castle door bell rang.

Upon laying her eyes on him, she felt those little butterflies in her stomach. The Prince was tall and sweet and boyishly cute! Gasp! He even had good teeth!

So they left the castle to a neighboring kingdom named Santa Monica Pier(Land). They all strolled through the small kingdom, enjoying the food and stopped in one of the pubs to hear their friend, who was a traveling bard (OK, he played drums) play in one of the pubs. The Prince and the Lady were both shy, so they didn't speak much, but the Lady thought the Prince to be kind and generous.

After a pleasant evening, they all headed back to Queen Joy's castle. Prince Jeff and Princess Jill went to their respective castles and King Wes retired for the night.

Queen Joy, Prince Charming and Lady Mandy all stayed up, enjoying each other's company. Upon seeing the sun was about to rise, Prince Charming explained that he had to leave, he was supposed to be somewhere within an hour.

Prince Charming left and Queen Joy and Lady Mandy also retired for the night...uhhh...day.

Lady went back to her normal schedule, but after three days of not hearing from the Prince, the Lady figured he has second thoughts or decided he didn't really like the girl that much, so she brushed it away and didn't let it bother her.

But then the next day, after returning from work, her magical communication device was blinking, indicating there was a message. Pushing the button, she listened anxiously. Who was it? Who could call? She didn't get calls very often during the middle of the week. But then she only heard a click, showing that someone hung up on the device.

"How rude!" she thought. After a few second of debate, wondering who it was that called her (never occurring that maybe Prince Charming was finally calling her) her pushed the 3 magic buttons on her magical communication device (*69. Remember that?) and listened to see who called her.

It was Prince Charming!! She recognized his voice right away. "Did you call my house and hang up on my machine?" she asked.

"Well, I don't like to talk on the machines..." he stated.

Taking pity on the Prince, Lady Mandy dropped the issue. They proceeded to talk about small issues, like the weather and such.

Six hours later...(yes SIX HOURS) they finally hung up, both knowing they'll be sorry in the morning. They proceeded to talk for the next two days after work, six hours each night. The Lady knew that the Prince would become one of her best friends, even if they never dated.

Being bold, about a week or so later, the Lady invited the Prince to her small castle to watch a classic scary movie called Psycho after the little Ladies went to bed.

They enjoyed the movie, ending up cuddled in a corner of an old couch. After some time of some good old-fashioned snuggling, the Prince became bold and gave the Lady a quick (but sweet) peck on the cheek. Knowing the Prince was too shy to make a move (*wink wink*) Lady Mandy stated, "I dare you to do that again." The Prince went in for another cheek peck, but the Lady (being o so daring) quickly turned her head and the kiss landed on the lips.

(This is where we have a cut scene! He he. Fade to black)

They dated for a year and after the Lady threatened death to the Prince (no not really, but he did get a ticket to drive a Nascar car and just in case he died...he wanted her to know he wanted to marry her).

So the Prince took the Lady back to Santa Monica Pier(Land), pretending to be just taking the Lady on a date. After riding on the roller coaster many many times, going on the DragonSwing many many times and taking pictures in the photo booth, the Prince suggested taking a stroll on the beach before heading to the horseless carriage to go home.

As they stood in the moonlight on the sand, holding each other tight, the Prince stepped back and dropped to one knee and asked the most beautiful question in the world...

"Will you marry me?"

And they're living happily ever after...

Knight in Shining Armor

2010-03-31T20:36:00.000-07:00

So I have a husband, and I must say, he's pretty terrific, a knight in shining armor. And given that fact that yes, indeed, he is a boy, (which means he's all testosterone controlled) I have to say, he's a great husband. I know I touched on it here (do you like my link? Isn't that waaaay cool? I'm so pleased with myself) but I just thought since I wrote a blog on my wonderful books *sigh* I would expand on it. Let me give you some background info.

Back in February 1998 I split up with my ex-husband. I think it would suffice to say I was extremely devastated. Not that it was a great marriage, but it was all I had, it was my security blanket. So after a month or so, I kinda dated, nothing serious. More like hanging out alone with the opposite sex. After a few more months I decided to just be celibate and not even bother dating. I distinctly remember driving down the street in my '91 maroon Ford Aerostar and I was praying as I drove. Ok, really, I was challenging God. I told him, in no uncertain terms would I settle for anything less than...and then I proceed to make a HUGE list. And then I said, "And he has to have good teeth too." It was kinda like "HA! Try and get me THAT kind of man."

Um...yeah...don't do that. God LAUGHS at our challenges towards him. I'm sure I was the joke of the day. I can just hear Him say, "LOLOLOL (Do you think God talks in Texting?) Mandy, Mandy, Mandy. You silly girl. Don't you know who I Am?"

So, only a few months later, I was forced (yes, forced) to go on a blind date. And then, Billy met Mandy...and the rest is history.

Or at least another blog for another time.

My love affair...

2010-03-28T14:42:00.000-07:00

My closest friends know only too well my love of books. The smell of them, the feel of the paper on a really old book, the secret worlds found inside. I had a brief love affair with the library when I was out of work. I would reserve the books online, but then spend hours browsing thru the shelves, wandering around, touching and inhaling the perfume of the library.

I have spent countless hours reading. In times of stress, my books are my comfort. My back hallway is lined on one side with books, a gift from hubby who knows all too well of my love for books. If I ever win the lottery, I'll buy my own bookstore and build my own library in my house. Oh books, how I love thee.

My favorite authors? Stephen King-hands down. Something about him gets me every time. His darkness. A lot of his stuff is about good vs evil and the journey through.

Anne Rice-the original vampire series that caught my heart. Louis, Claudia, Armand, Pandora and of course, Lestat. Oh Lestat. You're so good in all your badness.

But there are so many more authors that I love. They have moved me, jerked my feelings around, made me love their characters as if I knew them in real life and were my most beloved friends and lovers. Grieving with them, laughing with them, loving with them.

I've read most of the classics...When I was a young teenager, one of my aunts gave me a book from her own cherished library, well, unintentionally. I was only supposed to borrow her Jane Austen books, but after a couple of years of forgetting them (I didn't see her often) I finally remembered to bring them while visiting her, but seeing the loss on my face when handing them over, she let me keep them. They are so very old. They were old when she gave them to me. And they have that smell. That intoxicating old book smell. The paper is yellow and a little brittle now, the page binding coming apart. You can't just read those books, no, you need to touch them and smell their sweet perfume, caress them, hold them to your heart when you finish reading them.

Books are my comfort. A cherished friend, a warm place to go on a cold night.

They have always been a solace to me. During my childhood, I read any book I found laying around, including my Mom's Harlequin romance books. During my divorce, I could read a book a day. Once a week, I would walk about 2 miles to the public library, 3 small babies in tow, and check out about 10 books at a time. They have brought me through some very tough times.

And I love discovering a new author. I know if I like one of their books, I’ll like their others.

And I like to buy the book. Some thing it’s a waste, because you read it once and you’re done. But I have some of my favorites, that I’ve read over and over and over. A really good book will have layers and if you read it again, after some time has past, you’ll see new things and the experience is all the richer.

I told you, I really love books.

Parenting...

2010-02-15T20:55:00.000-08:00

As my kids are getting older, I'm beginning to see the fruits of my labors-so to say. So far they seem like decent human beings, that will be an asset to the world.

I recently witnessed my eldest daughter's baptismal. For those outside our "religion" the baptism is done as a public declaration of your beliefs and is done after you become "saved". I know, I know, I'm speaking all Christian-eze, but it's the only way I know how to describe this. And this declaration made me think about parenting.

I think I'm a good parent. The bible says you shall know them by their fruit. I think children are fruit (OK-mine are nuts-lol) but they are definitely a reflection of you and your home.

Please understand, I DO NOT think I am a super-parent and by no means am I a perfect parent. We've made mistakes. Hopefully the mistakes we've made are things my kids can get over and it has not permanently damaged them.

And I only have one that is an "almost adult". My other three are still young enough to totally screw up. And even if they go astray, is that the parents fault?

So what is the parents job? When is it finished? Are you ever actually done or does the job description change?

Nope-the job is never done. I believe there are different phases in parenthood. When they're little, its more of being a caretaker. They can't do anything on their own! Then comes "training time". We teach them all the socially acceptable behaviors and a value system. The teenage years seem to be a "directors" position. This is when you are helping them figure out who they are and helping teach them to be adults. After 18, it seems to be more of a mentoring stage. They will be (hopefully) asking for your opinion, but making their own decisions.

But trust me, I am sooo not the expert. I've got lots to learn and go thru yet. But I am fascinated with my kids. How could my three girls look so much alike, have the same genes and be so extremely different? I may "succeed" with one and utterly fail with another! Well, I guess I can only do my best and see how things turn out.

What do you guys think?

Stupid Tom

2010-02-01T21:32:00.000-08:00

Every few weeks, we have a guest that comes to the house. To more accurately describe it, in INVADES the house, because a) he always comes unannounced and b) we really don't want him there.

First of all, he likes to punch. Sometimes, it's a sucker-punch to the stomach. Sometimes he likes to punch you in the back (coward) and once in a while, he hits you in the head (that's just mean!).

And we of course get grouchy. Who wouldn't get grouchy when he's so mean?

He always likes to whisper in your ear too. But it's not "sweet-nothings". Oh no, that's too nice. He whispers about how a WHOLE PAN of brownies sounds soooo good right now. Or a huge batch of cookie dough would be great. Or even better, brownies and then the cookie dough!

But at least he leaves you alone when your pregnant. But that's only because Tom doesn't get along so well with the other guy-PG. Have you noticed they don't really like each other. I mean, you don't see them hanging out with each other.

And how 'bout this? He LEAVES THE BOYS ALONE. I'm totally convinced Tom is a member of the He-Man Woman-Haters club. If fact, I suspect he may even be the founder and CEO.

Stupid, Stinkin' Tom.

What the locusts have eaten

2010-01-25T21:45:00.000-08:00

Joel 2:12-13, 23-26
"Even now, declares the LORD, "return to me with all your heart, with fasting and weeping and mourning." Rend your heart and not your garments. Return to the Lord your God, for he is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love, and he relents from sending calamity. Be glad, O people of Zion, rejoice in the Lord your God, for he has given you the autumn rains in righteousness. He sends you abundant showers, both autumn and springs rains, as before. The threshing floors will be filled with grain; the vats will overflow with new wine and oil. I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten-the great locust and the young locust, the other locusts and the locust swarm-my great army that I sent among you. You will have plenty to eat, until you are full, and will praise the name of the LORD your God, who has worked wonders for you; never again will my people be shamed."

Whew! That's a mouthful!

Have you ever wondered sometimes why bad stuff happens?

Sometimes, (and I mean sometimes, 'cause other times, things happen and the reason is kept from us until God is ready, meaning our hearts/minds are ready) God allows things to be taken away to give us something better. Sometimes, it's His way of grabbing our attention. We have a bad habit of not paying attention to Him. Well, I know I do at least.

Why do marriages go bad? Why would God allow that? Marriage is holy! God invented marriage, he likes it! A lot!

Wait-I'm digressing! Erg!

Look-God promises us things. If bad things happen, and we turn to God and repent (I know, I know, it's all Bibley) he PROMISES that he'll take care of us. And even if what happened WASN'T our fault, turn to God.

The scripture above was written after one of the Jewish cities had a terrible famine caused by locusts. Even though all their wealth was taken from them, God's people were promised that he would not just replace what was lost, but give them MORE.

God brings renewal. He gives hope. He loves you. Never doubt that. In the darkest of times, he is there with you. He is the light at the end of the tunnel. When things are just too big to deal with, that's when I give it to God. Sometimes it's nice not to have to worry about it, just knowing Someone bigger is taking care of it...and me.   When I am walking with God, truly walking with Him, he has never failed me.

And now I"ll go back to that marriage thing (for all you nosy people, lol). I had some very dark times during my 1st marriage. It wasn't good, but I endured and kept my faith. I leaned on God, because no one else could handle what was going on. And I believe, truly TRULY believe that Billy is my reward for that. If you know him, you'll understand what I mean. If you don't, well, let me just say, my husband is my daily example of God's love. God describes love as this: "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud, It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. " (1 Corinthians 13:4-7)

For those that don't know my husband, you should ask to be his friend on Facebook, just so you can see his posts. (don't tell him I said this, but most aren't original, he gets them off the internet, but still, he knows Truth when he sees it). I must say, they're pretty darn good. And man is he FUNNY! That man is the cause of all my little wrinkles around my eyes. He makes me laugh so hard that my eyes crinkle up and, well, there's some wrinkles.

Whew. That was a BIG soapbox!!

A post?

2009-12-09T21:09:00.000-08:00

So I've had a whole lot of writers block, but who am I kidding? I knew when I started this blog it would not be consistance but I did hope to post, like, once a week? I figured I would have something to say, as I am a pretty opinionated person. At family gatherings, I'm usually the one that loses her voice, because I don't stop talking-I've always got SOMETHING to say.

But I've got NOTHIN'
Nada.
Zilch.
Zero.

So I might as well go off on the deep end. Give me a topic, let's see who can get me going.

Hey!
Look at this! I've got a post...about nothing!

Overparenting??

2009-11-23T21:11:00.000-08:00

So today, on the wonderful world of Facebook, my friend posted an article from Times.com about Over Parenting by Nancy Gibbs and it got me thinking. Why do so many of us over-parent? Now understand that I am a parent of 4 kids, my oldest being almost 17 and my youngest 5, so I have a lot of experience being a parent. I'd like to think I know how to be a (semi) successful parent, as they are all well adjusted, functional human beings. And quite smart I must say (no bragging here, *cough* GPA's being over 4.0 *cough*)

So why do we always feel we must protect every moment they have? Don't they lose the purity of childhood? The experiences? Don't you remember running around your neighborhood and the only rule we had was, "Come home before the lights turn on". I know as a kid, I was all over my neighborhood, running around like, well, kids and having sooo much fun.

I have to say, I'm now proud that I am a little more of a hands-off parent. I try to encourage my kids to be the person they were truly meant to be, even if it seems sooo weird to me (and yes, sometimes Rachel is sooo wierd . But hey, she's an artist and only expressing herself.). There are limits, but I try to always keep in mind, "Does this really matter? Is it better for them to express themselves or is it time for a little bit of a reign in?" Deciphering between those has become my goal.

Last year, I would not let my two junior high school age ride their bikes to school. But we live on a pretty busy street, and their whole route would be very visible so the chances of them getting mugged or kidnapped were slight, so outside of being ran over, it should be a great option for them getting themselves to school. But of course I was reluctant. The "what-ifs" came poring over me. And I admit, some were pretty stupid. So this year, I relented. And actually, I think this might be good for them. Every morning now, they are responsible to wake themselves up, get themselves ready and get to school on time. I now have nothing to do with it. Could this be teaching them responsibility? Don't we have to do this EVERY day for our jobs. This is a life skill that needs to be learned.

I've now read twice that when kids are bored, it's a chance for creativity to flow. If you have little ones, break out the Legos, Lincoln Logs, PlayDoh, crayons, paper and watch the magic flow. Now if you have teenagers, once you get past the complaining, sometimes you'll see magic happen. My 15-yr old has recently learned to play the piano and has now started composing her own song. Seriously? Have you ever composed a song?? I was blown away. My youngest girl (she's 12 going on 21) started writing poetry that was quite good. I mean, it was GOOD. And my eldest, well, she's always in her room, drawing and writing her own book. Yeah, that's right..her own BOOK. Even if they never use these skills for a career, being able to think outside the box and coming up with creative ideas is always a good life skill to have.

And just as a little disclaimer, my husband and I, along with my ex-husband (the girls' dad) are pretty strict parents. We have rules and pretty high expectations, but at the same time, the more responsible they act, the more freedom they earn.

So I say, let the kids be bored once in a while, let them walk to school, give them some freedom and watch what they become.

"For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also"

2009-11-15T14:22:00.001-08:00

So today at church, our pastor talked about money. Oh brother, I’m sure some people thought, he’s begging for money.

But seriously, it wasn’t like that. He talked about how, we, the richest nation in the world (yes even during this bad economy) we are always looking to have “more”. More what? More stuff? I know my husband and I are guilty of it. Our Xbox broke, so we decided to go ahead and just buy a PS3 instead. Which meant buying all new games. Was that really necessary? Was that a want or a NEED? (OK-so for me, it’s a really big NEEEEEEDDDDD. I love video games. I think the only person who spends more time on the video games is my son. But I usually end up taking over his games…for hours). But really, this stuff happens all the time. Why do we, overall speaking, HAVE to have stuff? A lot of people blame it on all the commercials, which doesn’t help, but I’m beginning to think it’s really part of our nature. It’s that sin in us that is never satisfied. Shouldn’t we be content?

“Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” (Hebrews 13:5)

“But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that. (1 Timothy 6:8)

Funny thing happened during my 9-month time of unemployment term…we were content. I think Billy and I were just so happy we weren’t in danger of losing the house or going without food that we were content. All our bills were paid and that was one of the periods of my life that I’ve been the happiest. All our needs were met and we were very aware of that fact. In turn, my marriage flourished, I reconnected with my kids, I loved staying home. I would probably still be out of work, but honestly, the job found me. Or, I should say, God gave me this job. And even though I took a pay cut, I LOVE my job. Well, I should say that I love the people I work with. I mean, come on, I fill out paperwork for a living. But the people I work with are some of the funniest, kindest people I’ve met. My faith in God has grown like it never has before. All of this came about, when I got laid off and we went back to bare minimum. Dude! We’re struggling more now than when my pay was half of what it is. ??????????? How is that?

So going back to the pastor’s message…

He went on to say that giving is part of the blessing God gives us. We are not cisterns, but channels. The more we have, the more we should be giving. Not just money, in all things. Time and money. As Christians, we should be the ones known as givers. Helpers, people who others go to in time of need. Are we?

Miracles??

2009-10-23T22:07:00.000-07:00

OK-so I'm almost always a Doubting Thomas. So to say that I truly believe in miracles is kinda big for me. And I do believe in miracles.

Wait, let me back up a bit...

So as some of you know, my 19-year old nephew Allen has stage 4 colon cancer. Yeah, I know, shocked us too. And the prognosis is not all that great. So, like a good Christian, I've turned to prayers. What else do we have in these situations?

So tonight, a lot of the family and friends gathered. It just so "happened" that another cousin of Allen's went to church (for the first time) last Sunday and encountered a healer. Let me tell you a little of his story that he shared.

He was born in India, in very extreme poverty. At the age of 12, he decided to commit suicide. He felt hopeless. But God spoke to him, and spoke to him BIG. He dreamed a dream 3 times, where Jesus was on the cross and said to him, "look what I did for you..." and basically called to him. Jesus told him (in the dream) that God would give this guy the gift of healing, would heal thousands of people and bring glory to God. This guy had a purpose in life and God needed his hands. So, needless to say, he didn't kill himself, but clung to God instead. He has now been to 52 different countries on healing ministries and has seen God heal THOUSANDS of people.

So Allen's cousin approached the healer that day at church and told the healer of her 19-year old cousin with cancer. He made arrangements to lay hands on Allen and pray for healing.

So, back to tonight, this guys comes with his, I guess I'll call him his assistant. So they come in, shake hands with a few people, introduces himself, tells some of his history and reads some verses from the bible.

He points out some verses that it is "God's will for the sick to be healed" and read an Old Testament verse (Bre, help me out! I sooo need to relearn the Bible) and then a New Testament verse stating Jesus’ lashes that he received were to heal us of our illnesses. He then prayed to ask forgiveness of sin and ask God to come and touch all of us. He then asked Allen to come and stand and asked all of us to reach out our hands to Allen and pray also. He began to rebuke cancer, and his voice became very strong and authoritative. He prayed more, stating that Allen WOULD be healed and it would bring glory to God, and Allen would be serving God for the rest of his days. He continued to pray and then Allen fell softly to the floor. That's when I truly began to believe this guy might be for real. Allen is kinda a macho kid. I mean, come on, this 19-year old young man is not going to fall on the floor just because this guy was pushing on his head.

And there was definitely a Presence in the room.

I think we all felt it. Even Allen's friends were affected, and I don't believe they even actively believe in God. And then It spread thru the room. Anyone who had any kind of affliction came to him for him to lay hands on them. There was such love and peace and unity in the room, it was almost overwhelming. The most confirming of the healings was one of Allen’s friends. The healer asked, “Is there someone here that has a stomach ailment?” Turned out there was. So after his friends outted him, he stood up, with his arms crossed. You can tell he was not believing in any of this. So the healer laid his hand on the guys head, and in about 10 seconds, this guy goes down. I was kinda amazed. He looked a little dazed when he got up, so something was definitely going on.

So anyways…after things settled down and the healer said his goodbyes, Billy, Allen and I were on the front porch and Allen turned to Billy and said that he did feel Something. He felt himself swaying the whole time, but couldn’t make himself stay still. He felt Something.

So now I’m gonna stand on my internet soapbox and proclaim-I BELIEVE IN MIRACLES.

I believe Allen will be changed for the better. I believe he will be healed, fully healed. I believe Allen will live to be a very old man, in good health and serve God. Maybe God allowed cancer into this young man’s body to grab his attention, knowing how we would gather our friends and family and PRAY HARD for healing. Maybe this was the only way God could get Allen’s attention. Either way, I believe God touched Allen tonight and I pray Allen remembers this and thinks on it and turns toward God.

James 5:14 “Is anyone among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer of faith will save the sick, and the Lord will raise him up. And if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven”

Chosen? v2

2009-10-10T00:07:00.000-07:00

OK-so my friend posted a response that was just sooo RIGHT ON. Bre, thanks for re-stating what I was trying to say, but from a Biblical context. I love it so much, I'm re-posting it, just to make sure everyone will see it.

BreannaKay said...

I have been thinking a lot about this topic myself, lately.

I have been re-connecting, through facebook, with a lot of people that I went to school with. It has made me realize how much I took for granted that everyone was a Christian at my Christian school. We all had to take our bible classes and such, but, outside of the Bible Study group I went to on Friday mornings before school, I never really talked with many people about if they REALLY believed. I just assumed everyone did.

And now I see on people's profiles so many different religious beliefs. There are many people that are so on fire... and so many that say things like "God, what god?" or "don't know don't care" or whatever. And I wonder, "what has changed?" "Why do they not believe, when others do? Was there something in their home life, or did a particular church turn them off?" "How could this person that I sat next to for 4 years NOT have been chosen... how could they NOT have chosen HIM?!"

I know I have gone through my periods of low fellowship with the Lord... but ever since I can remember, I have believed. God has always been deep rooted in my soul. My Grandma loves to tell the story of the time that we were all having a picnic, I was about 4 years old or so, and I wondered off... They were looking all over for me and finally found me at the top of a hill. My arms were stretched out above my head and I was yelling at the top of my voice "Praise the Lord!

I believe that, as children, we are saved. And once we get old enough to realllly understand, we have to choose b/w Christ and going our own path, a decision that has to be made before we die, but is best made as soon as possible :P. In Romans 7:9, Paul said that he was alive apart from the Law until the commandment came, when sin sprang to life and he died. Obviously this wasn't him dying physically, but spiritually. He was alive (saved) until the commandment came (he really understood right from wrong), and then he died spiritually (ala Adam and Eve after eating from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil). But, I believe some children learn enough about God to choose Him before (or at the same time) that they go right from saved to saved. (ala the rapture, no physical death). Though, I suppose an argument could be made for if they are aware enough to choose Christ, they are aware enough to not choose Him...but to that I say that it is the Holy Spirit who is guiding them early. Which could very well be because of prayers from family and friends etc...and God does say that we have to have the faith of a child... but, I digress.

I think we ALL are chosen, but many choose not to reach out and accept it. 2 Peter 3:9 says The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance. How can he HONESTLY say that he wants everyone to come to repentance, if there are some that he has not chosen. He wants absolutely all of us, and we all get at least one chance, even those who have never even heard of the name of Jesus. (ok, another verse) Romans 2:11-15

11For God does not show favoritism.
12All who sin apart from the law will also perish apart from the law, and all who sin under the law will be judged by the law. 13For it is not those who hear the law who are righteous in God's sight, but it is those who obey the law who will be declared righteous. 14(Indeed, when Gentiles, who do not have the law, do by nature things required by the law, they are a law for themselves, even though they do not have the law, 15since they show that the requirements of the law are written on their hearts, their consciences also bearing witness, and their thoughts now accusing, now even defending them.)

So... to make a long story short. Yes, I believe he calls out to all of us, and some answer. But, He also knows who will answer, and has known from before the beginning of time... isn't it amazing that he STILL calls out to those who He knows will turn their back on Him? What amazing love...

Again Bre-so right on. He already knows who will answer his call, but he did call everyone.

Chosen?

2009-10-09T20:28:00.000-07:00

So today at work, my co-worker and I started talking about the Anne Rice books about Jesus, which then led her to point out how she believes (with an example of her own life) how God has chosen you and sets you apart. She asked if I could remember as a young child being led toward God. Hmmm. That makes me think. I do know I've always had this...yearning(?) for a higher power, even as a young child. From my Grandparents down, no one in our family attended church. My mom believed in God, but only in a vague way. I do remember when I was in elementary, I went to Sunday School a few times with my cousin Theresa. I vaguely remember going, but I was too intent on earning the Snickers as the prize. I remember having fun on the bus with all the other kids, but that's about it. One of my Aunts starting working at a church and became closer to God. She’s still a Christian, just not attending a church, since the last one left a bad taste in her mouth.

I do know as an older child/young teenager, I was very lonely and sometimes depressed. There was always a big empty space that wanted to be filled up. As I got older, it only got worse, with thoughts of suicide and just all around miserable. Could it have been because I was away from my Father? And my soul knew I was lost? Hmmmm….

Could it just be genetics? I understand a lot in my family are prone to depression. I don’t doubt I have at one time or another been full blown DEPRESSED. Right after my 1st marriage broke up I definitely had a hard time. With pills in hand I contemplated suicide.

I do know that since God grabbed me and shook me up and hasn’t let go since, that my life is almost always joy filled now. Most often I am content with my life and overall happy. I still have moments where I am frustrated or angry or sad, but nothing close to the extent of what it was earlier in my life. For the most part, I feel HEALED. Is it me just maturing and growing as a person? Or could it be God?

In October of 2008, I was laid off my job. It was very devastating because I had put my heart and soul into that job and all the sudden…it was gone. At first, Billy and I went into panic mode. What are we going to do about money? How will we pay the mortgage? And all those other questions one thinks when you lose a job. After the first few initial months, the “curse” turned into a HUGE blessing. I found myself laughing more often, happier, more content. My pay had just been cut by half and yet we felt richer. We were eating better food, enjoying our time with each other more, and oh yeah, the house was CLEANER! I found myself enjoying being the stay at home mom, which I never have before. Instead of being bored, I felt relaxed. I didn’t feel so worn out on weekends, found myself WANTING to go to church and be around friends. So maybe God wanted me to lose my job to gain my family back, who had gotten lost in my pursuit of a “prestigious” job. All in all, that time of unemployment was a huge reset in my life. It gave back my perspective of what REALLY matters in life. A good career is great, but isn’t your family more important? I had forgotten…

But finally after nine months of being unemployed, my job found me. And I do mean found me. I didn’t look for this job, it came to me. And WHAT A BLESSING! I LOVE the people I work with. I’m now surrounded by Christians. What’s funny is that it seems to be carrying over into my personal life too. I’m getting new friends thru some of the strangest ways, but hey, I’m not complaining! My life has gotten richer.

So I come back to, are we chosen? Has God always been holding onto me? Trying to guide me? Hmmmm. Are we the chosen because when He called out into the dark, we are the ones that turned around and said, “Hello? Who’s there?” and went in pursuit of finding out who that voice was?

Don’t get me started on theology. I’d go all night…maybe next time.

Get off your Soap Box Lady!

2009-10-08T20:59:00.000-07:00

So I found out my new friend has a blog and it fascinated me. I thought, "I should do that". I can't tell you how many times I've carried conversations with myself in my head about a topic I heard, read or just thought about. I mean, I really REALLY carry on conversations with myself in my head.
I have a feeling I might get "preachy", hence the name of the blog. Now I can rant and rave and preach to my heart's content without worrying I'm talking someone's ear off when they probably don't even care. So now I say "HA". If you don't like my topic, you can push me off my soapbox by clicking on the little "X" in the upper-right hand corner of your screen! And you can disagree with me. My opinion is just that, MY opinion. I like to hear other people's opinion. What if you theories are better than mine? Sometimes (only sometimes ppl, let's not get crazy) I like to be wrong, just so I can learn something new. I love factoids and certain periods of history, along with creating theories on all sort of topics.
I probably won't be consistent with new posts (is that what you call these? I don't know, o well, whatever, who cares) only because I have a husband, 4 children and two dogs. In other words, I have a very busy life.
So as I create more blogs, I hope you'll get to know me, maybe even like me. Sometimes I can be funny, always self-deprecating, and of course, always dorkily goofy. (O be quiet, I know that's not a real word, but again-HA this is my blog. Go get your own if you want to be all grammatically correct).