Overparenting??

So today, on the wonderful world of Facebook, my friend posted an article from Times.com about Over Parenting by Nancy Gibbs and it got me thinking. Why do so many of us over-parent? Now understand that I am a parent of 4 kids, my oldest being almost 17 and my youngest 5, so I have a lot of experience being a parent. I'd like to think I know how to be a (semi) successful parent, as they are all well adjusted, functional human beings. And quite smart I must say (no bragging here, *cough* GPA's being over 4.0 *cough*)

So why do we always feel we must protect every moment they have? Don't they lose the purity of childhood? The experiences? Don't you remember running around your neighborhood and the only rule we had was, "Come home before the lights turn on". I know as a kid, I was all over my neighborhood, running around like, well, kids and having sooo much fun.

I have to say, I'm now proud that I am a little more of a hands-off parent. I try to encourage my kids to be the person they were truly meant to be, even if it seems sooo weird to me (and yes, sometimes Rachel is sooo wierd . But hey, she's an artist and only expressing herself.). There are limits, but I try to always keep in mind, "Does this really matter? Is it better for them to express themselves or is it time for a little bit of a reign in?" Deciphering between those has become my goal.

Last year, I would not let my two junior high school age ride their bikes to school. But we live on a pretty busy street, and their whole route would be very visible so the chances of them getting mugged or kidnapped were slight, so outside of being ran over, it should be a great option for them getting themselves to school. But of course I was reluctant. The "what-ifs" came poring over me. And I admit, some were pretty stupid. So this year, I relented. And actually, I think this might be good for them. Every morning now, they are responsible to wake themselves up, get themselves ready and get to school on time. I now have nothing to do with it. Could this be teaching them responsibility? Don't we have to do this EVERY day for our jobs. This is a life skill that needs to be learned.

I've now read twice that when kids are bored, it's a chance for creativity to flow. If you have little ones, break out the Legos, Lincoln Logs, PlayDoh, crayons, paper and watch the magic flow. Now if you have teenagers, once you get past the complaining, sometimes you'll see magic happen. My 15-yr old has recently learned to play the piano and has now started composing her own song. Seriously? Have you ever composed a song?? I was blown away. My youngest girl (she's 12 going on 21) started writing poetry that was quite good. I mean, it was GOOD. And my eldest, well, she's always in her room, drawing and writing her own book. Yeah, that's right..her own BOOK. Even if they never use these skills for a career, being able to think outside the box and coming up with creative ideas is always a good life skill to have.

And just as a little disclaimer, my husband and I, along with my ex-husband (the girls' dad) are pretty strict parents. We have rules and pretty high expectations, but at the same time, the more responsible they act, the more freedom they earn.

So I say, let the kids be bored once in a while, let them walk to school, give them some freedom and watch what they become.