"It doesn't have a Title" Title

So I've just started reading Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert.  Too early into the book to recommend it either way, but I just had to comment on something she wrote. 

In Chapter3 she describes the first time she prayed and when she met God.  I have to say, I loved it!  It so closely describes MY first time.  The wretched sobbing, the pleas for help, and then the utter calmness and PEACE that came to her.  THAT my friends is God.  How can you be so full of despair one moment and calm and peaceful the next moment?  How can you be so LOST  and then see the path?  That is not Man, THAT is GOD.  And then God told her to "go to bed".  And she describes His Voice.  Not that "Hollywood" God voice.  It's an internal voice, but not the same as when you talk to yourself in your head.  And he just said "Go to bed".  Yeah, it was kinda like that. 

So yes, I believe in God.  Because I've personally met Him.   And it's changed my life.  I hope someday, you get to meet him too (if you haven't already).

A Letter to a new Friend(?)

Sorry for the question mark.  But really, what do I call you?  I don't know, my head hurts and I'm grumpy and I have the house to myself (for once) and I want to take advantage, but this letter has been stuck in my head for a couple of days.  So let me start over...

Dear Young Sir,

That last couple of days, I have had the distinct pleasure of getting to know you.  We first met Mother's Day Weekend, when you so formally stuck your hand out to deliver a proper handshake.  But actually, I first learned about you the day before Easter, when my dearest Daughter, confessed she (gasp) liked a boy, who liked her back.

As I believe I told you, Daughter is a VERY private person.  I've heard rumors before that she had crushes on other boys before, but never would divulge details.  So I knew, this was a BIG deal.  Not use to this Daughter liking someone enough to bring it to our attention.

But because she is an obediant Daughter, she asked permission first, to call you her boyfriend.  And you waited for that permission.

Score 1 point for you.  Good job.

Then we all met you at the carnival.  While you were extremely polite and very pleasant, and I imagine very nervous, you held your head high.

But I must admit, you scored a lot of points the time you put the wig on, because Daughter asked you to.  And you were willing to be publicly silly, because Daughter asked you too.  You stayed HOURS after you were supposed to go home...because Daughter asked you to.

And you cherish her friendship and you "gave your heart to a very special girl..." and consider it THE greatest of the two things you know for sure.

For that reason, I hope the two of you to stay close and keep your friendship, no matter what the future holds.

Good luck on your journey.  I am proud to know you are serving our country.  Young men like you are an asset to our country.

Numbers 6:24
The Lord bless you and keep you;  
The Lord make His face shine upon you.  
And be gracious to you; 
The Lord lift up His countenance upon you, 
And give you peace.

Inside my head (such an interesting place)

Have you ever thought, "If I had split personalities, who would they be?"  I know, kinda weird, but I am such a multi-faceted person, that the only thing separating me from truly having this disorder is my full control and awareness of these other people.  No seriously, don't you have other people inside your head?


So maybe I'm watching too much United States of Tara, but I started a list of them:

•  A sweet, innocent little girl.  She's kinda shy and makes it hard to order food at a counter. 
• An 80-yr old granny.  She's so wise and knows so much about the world.  This is the woman I see myself becoming.  Sometimes her body aches and so mine will too. 
• A grouchy, hermit guy.
• Monk/scholar that has tons of history inside his head.  He pretty much lives at a library.  Probably at Oxford or something.
• Spoiled little braty girl
• Chola/ghetto girl (she was born when I became a freshman at Paramount High.  Kinda hard not to develop this girl when you are surrounded by them)  She comes out and plays with Rene (you haven't met her yet, just wait!!)
• Valley Girl
• Farm Girl
• June Cleaver Domestic Goddess
• A 16-yr old girl.  This is the one that pops out when my girls play with clothes, hair or make-up and talk about boys.  She gets all giggly sometimes.  She's dating my husband that little fluzy. 
• A 15-yr old boy.  He likes to show up when Billy brings home a new video game.  He'll play videos games for 15-1/2 hours if no one tells him otherwise.  He's also the one that will eat McDonalds or some other fast food every day if left to his own devices.  He also LOVES Star Wars.  He is definately a FanBoy, a computer geek, plays D&D and has a dorky laugh.  When you think if a nerdy teenage boy, this is him.  He also says "Dude" in every way possible.  It's one of his favorite words.  He believes you can use it in any context.   (Example here)

And then...Rene. Yeah, this one has a NAME.  She's become pretty dominant, but then again, that's her style.  She was born around April 1998.  I know this because I believe it was her that filed those divorce papers and no one else.  But...she's baaaaddddd. I always image her sleeping in some leather get up instead of PJs.  She has a shoe fetish (the higher the better), likes to wear tight jeans and is quite proud of her natural cleavage.  If you ever see me "owing" it, that's actually Rene, out to play for the night.

She's such a little vixen.

She's definitely assertive and somewhat of a control freak.  She doesn't care what people think of her and can be a bit of a bitch at times.


But she also doesn't have much sympathy or compassion.  Yeah, kinda heartless.  This is when I have to reign her in some, otherwise, no one would like me.

So who's inside your head?  'Fess up now...

The Other Blog for Another Time: A Fairy Tale Love Story

Since I raved about my love of books AND I said I would tell more on how Billy & I met, I thought I'd deliver on my promise.  But, I need to tell you in Fairy Tale mode, since, well, Billy is pretty much my Knight.  So here goes.  Enjoy.

Once upon a time, there was a girl named Mandy.  Mandy was a fair lass (meaning she was fair-skinned, but I guess she's kinda pretty too).  Mandy married what she thought was a minor Lord.  See, he wasn't quite Prince Charming, but he was no evil villain either.  The girl fell in love and married her Lord, became a Lady and had three beautiful little Ladies.  But-a few years after getting married, the Lord and Lady separated and divorced and the Lady found  herself all alone for the first time.  But she was a brave girl and had good friends helping her through the rough times.  

And then one day, Queen Joy, a friendly, good Queen, who was also Lady Mandy's best friend, decided the Lady shouldn't be alone.  You see, Queen Joy had met a prince, who was nice and sweet and charming...and single.  Hmmm...thought Queen Joy, this prince needs a princess.  


So, being the queen that she is, Queen Joy ordered the Lady to go on a blind date with the prince.  No, really, she ordered it, maybe even threatened death.  I think the head was even involved.  


"No, please!" she exclaimed.  "I am happy alone, I have my little girls and we're content."


But Queen Joy set up the date and luckily Princess Jill, Prince Jeff and King Wes all came along so the Lady didn't have to go alone.  


And then-Queen Joy turned into a fairy godmother and worked her magic and turned the simple Lady into a beautiful Princess for the night.  But don't worry, instead of a pumpkin, they drove the horse-less carriage; that way they wouldn't lose their ride.


While the Queen Joy Fairy Godmother worked the final magic touches on the Lady, the castle door bell rang.  


Upon laying her eyes on him, she felt those little butterflies in her stomach.  The Prince was tall and sweet and boyishly cute!  Gasp!  He even had good teeth!


So they left the castle to a neighboring kingdom named Santa Monica Pier(Land).  They all strolled through the small kingdom, enjoying the food and stopped in one of the pubs to hear their friend, who was a traveling bard (OK, he played drums) play in one of the pubs.  The Prince and the Lady were both shy, so they didn't speak much, but the Lady thought the Prince to be kind and generous.  


After a pleasant evening, they all headed back to Queen Joy's castle.  Prince Jeff and Princess Jill went to their respective castles and King Wes retired for the night.


Queen Joy, Prince Charming and Lady Mandy all stayed up, enjoying each other's company.  Upon seeing the sun was about to rise, Prince Charming explained that he had to leave, he was supposed to be somewhere within an hour.


Prince Charming left and Queen Joy and Lady Mandy also retired for the night...uhhh...day.


Lady went back to her normal schedule, but after three days of not hearing from the Prince, the Lady figured he has second thoughts or decided he didn't really like the girl that much, so she brushed it away and didn't let it bother her.  


But then the next day, after returning from work, her magical communication device was blinking, indicating there was a message.  Pushing the button, she listened anxiously.  Who was it?  Who could call?  She didn't get calls very often during the middle of the week.  But then she only heard a click, showing that someone hung up on the device.  


"How rude!" she thought.  After a few second of debate, wondering who it was that called her (never occurring that maybe Prince Charming was finally calling her) her pushed the 3 magic buttons on her magical communication device (*69.  Remember that?) and listened to see who called her.


It was Prince Charming!!  She recognized his voice right away.  "Did you call my house and hang up on my machine?" she asked.


"Well, I don't like to talk on the machines..." he stated.  


Taking pity on the Prince, Lady Mandy dropped the issue.  They proceeded to talk about small issues, like the weather and such.


Six hours later...(yes SIX HOURS) they finally hung up, both knowing they'll be sorry in the morning.  They proceeded to talk for the next two days after work, six hours each night.  The Lady knew that the Prince would become one of her best friends, even if they never dated.  


Being bold, about a week or so later, the Lady invited the Prince to her small castle to watch a classic scary movie called Psycho after the little Ladies went to bed.  


They enjoyed the movie, ending up cuddled in a corner of an old couch.  After some time of some good old-fashioned snuggling, the Prince became bold and gave the Lady a quick (but sweet) peck on the cheek.  Knowing the Prince was too shy to make a move (*wink wink*) Lady Mandy stated, "I dare you to do that again."  The Prince went in for another cheek peck, but the Lady (being o so daring) quickly turned her head and the kiss landed on the lips.


(This is where we have a cut scene!  He he.  Fade to black)


They dated for a year and after the Lady threatened death to the Prince (no not really, but he did get a ticket to drive a Nascar car and just in case he died...he wanted her to know he wanted to marry her).  


So the Prince took the Lady back to Santa Monica Pier(Land), pretending to be just taking the Lady on a date.  After riding on the roller coaster many many times, going on the DragonSwing many many times and taking pictures in the photo booth, the Prince suggested taking a stroll on the beach before heading to the horseless carriage to go home.  


As they stood in the moonlight on the sand, holding each other tight, the Prince stepped back and dropped to one knee and asked the most beautiful question in the world...




"Will you marry me?"

And they're living happily ever after...

Knight in Shining Armor

So I have a husband, and I must say, he's pretty terrific, a knight in shining armor.  And given that fact that yes, indeed, he is a boy, (which means he's all testosterone controlled) I have to say, he's a great husband.   I know I touched on it here (do you like my link?  Isn't that waaaay cool?  I'm so pleased with myself) but I just thought since I wrote a blog on my wonderful books *sigh* I would expand on it.  Let me give you some background info.

Back in February 1998 I split up with my ex-husband.  I think it would suffice to say I was extremely devastated.  Not that it was a great marriage, but it was all I had, it was my security blanket.  So after a month or so, I kinda dated, nothing serious.  More like hanging out alone with the opposite sex.  After a few more months I decided to just be celibate and not even bother dating.  I distinctly remember driving down the street in my '91 maroon Ford Aerostar and I was praying as I drove.  Ok, really, I was challenging God.  I told him, in no uncertain terms would I settle for anything less than...and then I proceed to make a HUGE list.  And then I said, "And he has to have good teeth too."  It was kinda like "HA!  Try and get me THAT kind of man."

Um...yeah...don't do that.  God LAUGHS at our challenges towards him.  I'm sure I was the joke of the day.  I can just hear Him say, "LOLOLOL (Do you think God talks in Texting?)  Mandy, Mandy, Mandy.  You silly girl.  Don't you know who I Am?"

So, only a few months later, I was forced (yes, forced) to go on a blind date.  And then, Billy met Mandy...and the rest is history. 

Or at least another blog for another time.

My love affair...

My closest friends know only too well my love of books. The smell of them, the feel of the paper on a really old book, the secret worlds found inside.  I had a brief love affair with the library when I was out of work. I would reserve the books online, but then spend hours browsing thru the shelves, wandering around, touching and inhaling the perfume of the library.

I have spent countless hours reading. In times of stress, my books are my comfort.  My back hallway is lined on one side with books, a gift from hubby who knows all too well of my love for books. If I ever win the lottery, I'll buy my own bookstore and build my own library in my house.  Oh books, how I love thee.

My favorite authors?  Stephen King-hands down. Something about him gets me every time. His darkness.  A lot of his stuff is about good vs evil and the journey through.

Anne Rice-the original vampire series that caught my heart. Louis, Claudia, Armand, Pandora and of course, Lestat. Oh Lestat.  You're so good in all your badness.

But there are so many more authors that I love. They have moved me, jerked my feelings around, made me love their characters as if I knew them in real life and were my most beloved friends and lovers.  Grieving with them, laughing with them, loving with them.

I've read most of the classics...When I was a young teenager, one of my aunts gave me a book from her own cherished library, well, unintentionally. I was only supposed to borrow her Jane Austen books, but after a couple of years of forgetting them (I didn't see her often) I finally remembered to bring them while visiting her, but seeing the loss on my face when handing them over, she let me keep them. They are so very old. They were old when she gave them to me.  And they have that smell. That intoxicating old book smell.  The paper is yellow and a little brittle now, the page binding coming apart. You can't just read those books, no, you need to touch them and smell their sweet perfume, caress them, hold them to your heart when you finish reading them.

Books are my comfort. A cherished friend, a warm place to go on a cold night.

They have always been a solace to me. During my childhood, I read any book I found laying around, including my Mom's Harlequin romance books.  During my divorce, I could read a book a day.  Once a week, I would walk about 2 miles to the public library, 3 small babies in tow, and check out about 10 books at a time.  They have brought me through some very tough times.    

And I love discovering a new author.  I know if I like one of their books, I’ll like their others.  

And I like to buy the book.  Some thing it’s a waste, because you read it once and you’re done.  But I have some of my favorites, that I’ve read over and over and over.  A really good book will have layers and if you read it again, after some time has past, you’ll see new things and the experience is all the richer.  

I told you, I really love books.

Parenting...

As my kids are getting older, I'm beginning to see the fruits of my labors-so to say. So far they seem like decent human beings, that will be an asset to the world.

I recently witnessed my eldest daughter's baptismal. For those outside our "religion" the baptism is done as a public declaration of your beliefs and is done after you become "saved". I know, I know, I'm speaking all Christian-eze, but it's the only way I know how to describe this. And this declaration made me think about parenting.

I think I'm a good parent. The bible says you shall know them by their fruit. I think children are fruit (OK-mine are nuts-lol) but they are definitely a reflection of you and your home.

Please understand, I DO NOT think I am a super-parent and by no means am I a perfect parent. We've made mistakes. Hopefully the mistakes we've made are things my kids can get over and it has not permanently damaged them.

And I only have one that is an "almost adult". My other three are still young enough to totally screw up. And even if they go astray, is that the parents fault?

So what is the parents job? When is it finished? Are you ever actually done or does the job description change?

Nope-the job is never done. I believe there are different phases in parenthood. When they're little, its more of being a caretaker. They can't do anything on their own! Then comes "training time". We teach them all the socially acceptable behaviors and a value system. The teenage years seem to be a "directors" position. This is when you are helping them figure out who they are and helping teach them to be adults. After 18, it seems to be more of a mentoring stage. They will be (hopefully) asking for your opinion, but making their own decisions.

But trust me, I am sooo not the expert. I've got lots to learn and go thru yet. But I am fascinated with my kids. How could my three girls look so much alike, have the same genes and be so extremely different? I may "succeed" with one and utterly fail with another! Well, I guess I can only do my best and see how things turn out.

What do you guys think?

Stupid Tom

Every few weeks, we have a guest that comes to the house.  To more accurately describe it, in INVADES the house, because a) he always comes unannounced and b) we really don't want him there.

First of all, he likes to punch.  Sometimes, it's a sucker-punch to the stomach.  Sometimes he likes to punch you in the back (coward) and once in a while, he hits you in the head (that's just mean!).

And we of course get grouchy.  Who wouldn't get grouchy when he's so mean?

He always likes to whisper in your ear too.  But it's not "sweet-nothings".  Oh no, that's too nice.  He whispers about how a WHOLE PAN of brownies sounds soooo good right now.  Or a huge batch of cookie dough would be great.  Or even better, brownies and then the cookie dough!

But at least he leaves you alone when your pregnant.  But that's only because Tom doesn't get along so well with the other guy-PG.  Have you noticed they don't really like each other.  I mean, you don't see them hanging out with each other.

And how 'bout this?  He LEAVES THE BOYS ALONE.  I'm totally convinced Tom is a member of the He-Man Woman-Haters club.  If fact, I suspect he may even be the founder and CEO.

Stupid, Stinkin' Tom.

What the locusts have eaten

Joel 2:12-13, 23-26
"Even now, declares the LORD, "return to me with all your heart, with fasting and weeping and mourning." Rend your heart and not your garments.  Return to the Lord your God, for he is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love, and he relents from sending calamity.  Be glad, O people of Zion, rejoice in the Lord your God, for he has given you the autumn rains in righteousness.  He sends you abundant showers, both autumn and springs rains, as before.  The threshing floors will be filled with grain; the vats will overflow with new wine and oil.  I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten-the great locust and the young locust, the other locusts and the locust swarm-my great army that I sent among you.  You will have plenty to eat, until you are full, and will praise the name of the LORD your God, who has worked wonders for you; never again will my people be shamed."


Whew!  That's a mouthful!

Have you ever wondered sometimes why bad stuff happens?

Sometimes, (and I mean sometimes, 'cause other times, things happen and the reason is kept from us until God is ready, meaning our hearts/minds are ready) God allows things to be taken away to give us something better.  Sometimes, it's His way of grabbing our attention.  We have a bad habit of not paying attention to Him.  Well, I know I do at least. 

Why do marriages go bad?  Why would God allow that?  Marriage is holy!  God invented marriage, he likes it!  A lot! 

Wait-I'm digressing!  Erg!

Look-God promises us things.  If bad things happen, and we turn to God and repent (I know, I know, it's all Bibley) he PROMISES that he'll take care of us.  And even if what happened WASN'T our fault, turn to God.     

The scripture above was written after one of the Jewish cities had a terrible famine caused by locusts.  Even though all their wealth was taken from them, God's people were promised that he would not just replace what was lost, but give them MORE. 

God brings renewal.  He gives hope.  He loves you.  Never doubt that.  In the darkest of times, he is there with you.  He is the light at the end of the tunnel.  When things are just too big to deal with, that's when I give it to God.  Sometimes it's nice not to have to worry about it, just knowing Someone bigger is taking care of it...and me.   When I am walking with God, truly walking with Him, he has never failed me. 

And now I"ll go back to that marriage thing (for all you nosy people, lol).  I had some very dark times during my 1st marriage.  It wasn't good, but I endured and kept my faith.  I leaned on God, because no one else could handle what was going on.  And I believe, truly TRULY believe that Billy is my reward for that.  If you know him, you'll understand what I mean.  If you don't, well, let me just say, my husband is my daily example of God's love.  God describes love as this: "Love is patient, love is kind.  It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud,  It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. " (1 Corinthians 13:4-7)

For those that don't know my husband, you should ask to be his friend on Facebook, just so you can see his posts.  (don't tell him I said this, but most aren't original, he gets them off the internet, but still, he knows Truth when he sees it).  I must say, they're pretty darn good.  And man is he FUNNY!  That man is the cause of all my little wrinkles around my eyes.  He makes me laugh so hard that my eyes crinkle up and, well, there's some wrinkles.   

Whew.  That was a BIG soapbox!!